Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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