i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
