Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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