dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
