Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish

(248): View more from Michigan

Experience is the best teacher

Fav 2 2050 968
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(303): View more from Colorado

pwbgyin

(1-303): View more from Colorado

what?

(303): View more from Colorado

penguin condom

Fav 5 2031 945
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(604): View more from British Columbia

I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.

Fav 34 2731 3147
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(708): View more from Illinois

She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.

Fav 8 2994 2001
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am

Fav 15 4135 1192
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(907): View more from Alaska

Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.

Fav 36 3006 1141
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(719): View more from Colorado

That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.

Fav 8 1662 907
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(248): View more from Michigan

Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?

Fav 2 25 53
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(989): View more from Michigan

R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm

Fav 0 85 6
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