woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
