who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
