so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
