is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i out mim tonsoeep
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