my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
