I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
