we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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