my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
