Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
