D3 body, D1 cock
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Randomize
