My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize