I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
