Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
