Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
