sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
