Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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