i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
