Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
