Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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