Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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