I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
