It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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