I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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