The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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