the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
