Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
