What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
