you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
