Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
