i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
