oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
