this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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