THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
