Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
