Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
