im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
