Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
