I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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