ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
