I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
