I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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