none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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