who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
my phone needs a breathalizer
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
