Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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