did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
