its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I am available for nakedness
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
