i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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