Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
