I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
